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16 July 2007 @ 12:30 am
and we're back down. 

i honestly think i am the most jealous girl in the entire world.. ever. there's not even a reason to be jealous, but i'm irrational, and i believe in things that aren't there.. i'm a fucking idiot. all the time.

it doesn't help that i still don't know his feelings, and it hurts my heart. all i know is, is that i care more than he does... or more than he shows. that just.... honestly.. kills me.

deep down, i know that i shouldnt even be caring though.. who am i kidding here?

Current Mood: confusedconfused
07 July 2007 @ 12:40 am
I want him to want me more than I want him.

Is it so much to ask? Has it already come true? 

I'm too afraid to ask him his feelings so I'll never know. 

And I'm afraid of rejection. Damn it.
29 June 2007 @ 11:15 pm
I figured out my problem. 

I just need more than have. 

I need two more things in my life to be truly happy. 

And I need a Harris, if you know what I mean.
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
28 June 2007 @ 10:56 pm
I'm so stressed out right now. I don't know what I want out of life anymore. I have two very distinct paths and no idea how to pursue either of them. I'm a huge mess of a human being who knows exactly why, but can't fix it. I have too many ideas floating around that are never going to happen. I want some of those ideas too much to know that they aren't going to happen. I'm so afraid of some things right now, that I kind of want to die. The things I'm afraid of could change the rest of my life, and I need to check on them, and I don't want to, but I NEED to know that they're okay. The one thing that I really thought was going to happen (moving out and living with Katie) might not happen as soon as I hoped, and it kills me. But that's one of the least of my worries. My priorities are so mixed up and so far skewed from the people who matter most to me. The person who matters most is the who shouldn't matter at all. And there's another one who matters even more and for less of a reason. People hurt my feelings all the time without meaning to. It hurts my heart. My one goal in life is so close, but so far away. Once I get that goal, my mind thinks that every other aspect of my life will be better. 

To sum up:

- Don't know what to do with my life
- I'm screwed up but can't help it
- I want something that won't happen
- I'm so scared right now
- I'm sad about not getting the apartment
- I care about someone else more than they care about me
- I care about someone even more than that, and it's ruining everything
- My heart hurts
- I need to acheive my biggest goal.
Current Mood: scaredscared
Current Music: The Sixth Sense
19 June 2007 @ 01:08 am


I fall for people too quickly. For no reason.. 

The more they piss me off, the more I like them. 

damnit. damnit. damnit.
Current Mood: infuriatedinfuriated
17 June 2007 @ 10:54 pm
There is so much overreaction.


Why am I so insecure? Why do I think that everyone hates me? 

ugh... I guess I'll go back to waiting now.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Miami Ink
17 June 2007 @ 01:24 am
So, I def. had to clean up SHIT at work.. I did, and it was disgusting.

And, I do tend to overreact A LOT.  To dumb things, nonetheless.

And, I might be moving out mid-july, and i'm so excited. I say might because I don't want to get my hopes up, and then have them crushed. That would suck so super hard. So, I MIGHT be moving out. The End.

And don't ask me about it, because i'll have to knock on wood too much.

Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Clueless on the TV
14 June 2007 @ 04:33 pm
Jessica Huynh just made me a kick ass layout that includes the love of my life Sunshine. 

And, since me and j.huynh and cozzy got back into this thing to share feelings, might I say that I suck at life. I overreact to everything.
26 January 2007 @ 07:25 pm
I am so full of jealousy right now, that I think I'm seriously turning green.

and, I could seriously kill some people right now. Like, really seriously kill them.
Current Mood: jealousjealous
Current Music: Rent
18 January 2007 @ 08:23 pm